Yesterday was a bad morning…a really bad morning. Soon after Cosby got up and while he was still grouchy and right before i was about to put Clover down for a nap, he stepped on a plastic coat hanger and cut his foot. It wasn’t bad, just enough to bleed a little and probably to hurt him just the same. But Cosby’s perception was quite different, Cosby thought his leg was in terrible condition and acted as though i was leaving him out in a scorching, humid jungle to suffer and bleed to death. At first he only cried a second, so I went ahead with operation “Clover, please sleep”. Then right as I got Clover to sleep Cosby rushed into her room screaming about dirt on his foot and vigorously trying to rub it off, the dirt was blood. I told him that it was ok and it wasn’t dirt it was just a little blood (I had recently talked with I’m about blood so he sort of understood what i was talking about) but at this point he was hysterical. So i layed Clover down hoping she’d go to sleep on her own (she did not) and went to go comfort Cosby and help him understand he wasn’t dying. He fell on the floor crying, he pulled me, he screamed at me, he wanted me to hold him but not touch him and he hit me. Lets be honest…i’m a person of growing patience but that patience still has not reached the level of which it would have required me to handle this situation in a proper manner, so I yelled back. I didn’t kick or push or hit him but i did yell (a lot) and I did leave him in the room crying alone and to put it simply, i was very unkind. But after this fiasco was over and Clover was asleep and Cosby was finally hobbling around the house unaided and i had a few second of quiet to think about how i had handled the situation… I went to give him a hug and apologize
All was right with the world again.
“Cosby, I’m sorry we had a bad morning. I’m really sorry i yelled at you, we shouldn’t yell at people we love”
“It’s ok, Momma, I’m sorry we had a bad morning. I love you too.”
When Joe and i got married i knew that we we’d have to say sorry, and we do. But when i had a child, i didn’t imagine apologizing much. I’m the parent right? In my naivety, and plainly put-stupidity, I didn’t realize that I was going to be SO wrong SO much. And that a little 2 1/2 year old could make me so angry i could (and sometimes do) scream. Or that a little boys feelings could be hurt so badly by a simple little fight or a less than kind exchange. So I apologize and I apologize a lot. I want my children to grow up to be kind, compassionate people, who don’t yell at those they love (or even those they do not love), people with great empathy, people with great love… people who apologize. And I have a hunch on just how to teach them… by showing them. And Cosby’s learning as I’m learning.
“Mommy, don’t say that. We don’t talk to other people like that”
“Mommy, that’s ugly talk”
“Mommy, please don’t go away from me”
“I’m sorry we had a bad morning Momma”
“Mommy, don’t say that. It hurts me when you say that”
“Mommy, I’m sorry it rained in my sand box”
Yes, He’s learning as I’m learning.
Have you apologized today?
Categories: children, Cosby